Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
