I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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