Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm both gender and math confused
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had to cum in my sink.
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