You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
