He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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