Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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