This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
