i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
