If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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