i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
