Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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