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So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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