i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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