I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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