dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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