im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
