marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
