I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize