thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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