I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
