my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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