If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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