Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
