Joe is yelling at the trees again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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