Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
