how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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