I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
