Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize