I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
