Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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