3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
