He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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