on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
