Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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