wat bout pragnant strippers??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
