the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
