I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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