I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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