I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
