I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
