There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i drank out of a bidet.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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