Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
