I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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