I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
