I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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