i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
