I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
