she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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