How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Bring me that man meat
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
