they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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