Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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