Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
