Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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