After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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