If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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