You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
