will power is for people who don't want to get laid
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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