do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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