I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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